Billi Jean Read online

  But right now, this man cutting wood for her was all about something altogether different than the sexy, demanding lover who could take her places she’d never known existed. No, Russell was giving all the signs of a man trying to insert himself into her life.

  It was amazing. And exciting. And slightly scary. He was a full-grown warrior. And now he was hers.

  He was used to command. That had been apparent the first day she’d met him. And now, watching him with the chainsaw, she had to wonder what he thought he was going to control when it came to her.

  He was intense. He knew exactly where she was almost every minute they were together. He didn’t smother her with attention; instead he did his own thing. But she was certain she could blindfold Russell and he would not only be able to find her and scoop her up like a feather, but he’d also be able to carry her straight to bed without running into anything.

  He was also intimidating. The day had turned warm, the late Indian summer a welcome treat after a few days of chilly mornings and even chillier nights. Russell had taken off his big Carhartt jacket, so naturally she soaked up the sight of his broad shoulders and tight biceps under his black T-shirt. He was lean and mean, so big compared to her. She knew if he wanted her to do something and she didn’t, he could very easily make her. But he never would. Russell would never force her to do anything—well, except take him with her when she went to Spokane, but that wasn’t really forcing, since she wanted him to go. But still, Russell was something she couldn’t get enough of, and that scared her. What if he was setting up a place in her life for him, but only for some temporary fun? What if this was him killing time?

  A cloud passed over the sun, and the warmth of the day dissipated a little. Russell wiped a forearm over his brow. He had to be hot, even in a T-shirt. The way he was cutting up the wood he had to be working up a sweat. He took her in carefully, glancing over her as if to assess whether she was still sitting where he’d said to without moving.

  She stood to get him to turn the chainsaw off. They needed a break—her from sitting, and him from all the wood cutting, she thought. He’d cut the engine on the saw almost before her boots hit the ground. She dragged the huge ear mufflers he’d made her wear off. Her little ear buds hadn’t been enough. He’d given her that cute little disapproving grimace she was beginning to enjoy causing, and had taken the ear buds out and handed her these. They were kinda bulky, but she couldn’t have heard a rocket if it had blasted off next to her. The chainsaw didn’t stand a chance.

  Yeah, Russell was a bit overprotective. She looked down at her boots to hide her silly smile because Russell did have issues, and with more than just her safety. If she was insecure, well, there were reasons for that. Russell hadn’t said a word about what he was feeling, or if he was feeling anything at all. And he was too dominating and bossy. But at least he’d backed down from questioning her so much about why she was here or, worse, what he felt she was afraid of.

  Glancing back up, she felt colour heat her cheeks at the reasons why he’d not kept up his questioning. He’d been too busy with other things. ‘Other things’ meaning sex to die for, which she encouraged every chance she got.

  She watched him saunter over, trying her best to keep from getting breathless from simply watching him walk. Russell, he didn’t just walk. He reminded her of some big, sleek wild cat. Sexy.

  “I’m going to start stacking all this wood,” she told him clearly, not missing him tensing those big shoulders or the way his face tightened. His beautiful jaw clenched, a muscle in his cheek ticked, then he smoothed it out. His grey eyes darkened, but he nodded.

  Good boy, she wanted to say. Instead, she smiled up at him. “And make some lunch, don’t you think…?” She trailed off when they heard his cell phone ringing.

  “Fuck.”

  “Russell…”

  Bending down, he scooped her up, kissed her hard and fast, and set her back down with a grin. “Gotta get this. How about that lunch?”

  She rolled her eyes at him, watching his grin grow. He seemed to enjoy riling her. With another brief kiss, he draped a big arm around her shoulder and answered his phone. “Yeah, Wolf Man, what’s up?”

  She really needed to get him some friends that weren’t SEALs. No doubt this guy was one of them. They’d all used those call signs and still went by them now, even after they were out of the military. Russell let her go to open the door and nodded for her to go in while he stayed outside. He looked worried. The frown he’d always worn when they’d first met was back.

  A shiver of fear raced along her arms. She hadn’t felt fear since Russell had come over that first night. Not really. How could she? He was with her every second of the day and night. Suddenly realising exactly how much time they’d been spending together, she peeked back outside, watching him. Weeks of non-stop time. Almost every second. What if he had to leave?

  The chill deepened.

  Russell grimaced and ran a hand over his short hair. He didn’t look happy. Not even close to happy. He gestured and said something else as their eyes caught. His handsome face tightened before he turned his back to her and gestured some more. Rubbing his jaw he clipped his phone shut and turned back to her.

  Another chill raced over her at his cold expression. She looked down, only then realising her hands were clutching the kitchen counter so tight her knuckles were white. He was leaving. She knew it before he walked in through the back door.

  “Baby, don’t. Don’t look so upset.” He pulled her back into his arms, enveloping her in his warm scent. Bending his head, he rested it on her shoulder, turning to brush kisses along her jaw.

  “You have to go.”

  “Yeah, I have to go help a buddy. He’s in a bind, needs some help.”

  She turned in his arms, saw his worried expression, and her heart tightened. His grey eyes, eyes she’d grown used to seeing lighten with laughter or darken with desire, were clouded with worry. Over leaving? Or over her reaction? Did he think she’d demand he not go?

  Confusion made her chill feel like it was covering her in ice. “Yep, I understand.” He might not be in the SEALs any longer, but he was still part of a team. “You’ll be careful?”

  He watched her closely for a heartbeat before bending down to rest his forehead on hers, gazing deeply into her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat, almost in slow motion, then thudded back to a slow pace.

  “Yeah, I’ll be careful.” He leant forward and kissed her softly, a warm, wonderful kiss that warmed some of the chill from her heart. Slowly pulling away, he met her eyes again and said, “I want you to stay at the ranch.”

  The sneaky rat! Indignant, she glared up at him and pushed against his chest. He didn’t budge and he didn’t smile, either.

  “Susan, I want you safe. I don’t want you scared. Mitchell will be home today, you can stay—”

  “Russell, I am not staying at your ranch with your uncle. I’ve never met him and that would just be too embarrassing. I’m not a child.”

  “I didn’t say you were. It wouldn’t be embarrassing—”

  “It would. I’m staying here. I have to go to Spokane, and you know it. I’m going there, having my meeting, driving home, and staying here.”

  If a man could growl, Russell would have. She felt him tense—all those muscles she admired, loved to trace with her fingers and her mouth, bulged. And not in a sexy, ‘come on, let’s have fun’ way, but in a threatening way—at least, for a brief second, then she struggled with him until he let her go. It felt odd. He’d never let her go before, and for one twisted moment she wanted him to drag her right back into his arms, but he didn’t.

  She pushed the budding panic down. She wasn’t losing him; he was simply going away for a few days.

  “How long?”

  He sighed heavily but didn’t touch her. She felt it, the lack of it, like something had slid up and divided them.

  “A few weeks. Six at the most.”

  Six weeks? Oh, my God. Six weeks without Russell?
All of a sudden the panic was unbearable. Opening the refrigerator, she started pulling out sandwich fixings—lunch meat they’d bought, the mustard Russell loved, lettuce, tomato, the Provolone cheese he’d got for her, and with a sucked in breath she shut the door and faced him. He was watching her, his big body leaning against the counter. He looked relaxed, but his jaw flexed twice while she simply stared back at him.

  “When do you have to leave?”

  “Now. He has a plane for me in a couple hours. Two.”

  Two hours? It was more than an hour to Spokane. It was…

  “Susan, I want you to wait for me.”

  Her eyes jerked to his at that. Wait for him? What did that mean?

  He took a drink of Coke and set it down, too carefully in her opinion. He was avoiding her eyes, she thought with a stab of fear. Was he leaving her for good?

  Finally meeting her eyes, he said, “If you want to, I mean. I might be gone longer, might be shorter. I can’t call, though. I won’t be able to.”

  Wait for him? “What do you mean?”

  He took the sandwich things out of her hands and turned her to face him. Hands on her shoulders, he stared down at her for a long, painful minute before suddenly hauling her into his arms and kissing her. His firm, warm lips were demanding, frantic almost. His delicious taste filled her, slightly sweet from his Coke, spicy from him, and so hot, so very hot. She clung to him. She knew she was holding on too tight, but couldn’t stop the desperate panic drowning her. She fought the tears, tightening her throat and refusing to let them fall from her closed eyes. She was not going to have him remember her with tears in her eyes. She was going to give him this, a hot, sexy goodbye if she could.

  Before she knew it, he’d swept her up into his arms and stomped down to her bedroom. The door hit the wall again, reminding her of that first day he’d barely been able to reach her bedroom. Seconds later, he was stripping off her shirt and unbuttoning her jeans, dragging them down so fast they left burn marks. With a low sound he fisted his T-shirt behind his neck and pulled it off. Her hands trembled with urgency to touch him. She needed him, wanted to taste him once more. She unzipped him and dragged his erection out, not even bothering with anything more. Dropping to her knees, she shoved him back on the bed and he went, groaning with need. His cock was swollen, the beautiful head split and beaded with a drop of pre-cum.

  “Damn, baby, suck me. Show me again.”

  She didn’t wait for more. Rising up on her knees, she cupped his erection, slid down the thick length with one hand and sucked the rounded head into her mouth, laving it with her tongue as his flavour filled her mouth. He groaned so loudly it made her wet and achy.

  She devoured him, sucking and stroking his flesh until he was panting, subtly thrusting his hips, his big hands fisted in her hair. She opened up, trying to swallow him whole, ignoring her gag reflex to give him this last memory of her. He cursed and tensed his muscles so tight his erection jerked in her mouth. She loved the flavour of him, the scent of his musky maleness and the way he reacted to everything she did to him. When she swallowed, he groaned raggedly. When she moved her mouth back to swirl her lips over the thick head, he cursed and tugged her hair.

  “Holy hell. Ah, fuck. Baby. Let me, baby?”

  She wasn’t sure what he wanted, but she met his eyes and slid him out. Resting her hand on his thigh, she nodded.

  His face was flushed dark with an intense, hungry look. But whatever Russell wanted, she knew she’d love. Slowly, he tightened his grip on her hair, and flexed his hips so the tip of his velvety cock pushed against her lips. “Hold my thighs, that’s it. Let me fuck your mouth, let me have this.”

  Oh, my God. Had she ever heard anything so amazing? A rush of moisture flowed from her and she knew, absolutely knew it was dripping from her. She sat back on her heels and carefully placed her hands on her thighs. Russell’s eyes flared almost black and he licked his lips. His eyes shot down to her thighs, then back up to her breasts and on to her face. Reaching up, she trailed her palms over his legs, moving them around to cup his firm ass before, with a smile, she did as he asked and settled them on his thighs.

  “Fuck, you are hot.” He butted her mouth with his erection. The warm, rounded head slipped over her lips, but he pulled his hips back when she opened her mouth. “That’s it, open for me. I want you to touch yourself with one hand.”

  When she hesitated, he smiled down at her hand, used a thumb to caress her cheek. She kissed his thumb.

  “Come on, baby, come with me.”

  Oh, God. She loved that sexy growl. With a shiver, she took one hand off him and trailed her fingertips from her neck down between her breasts to lightly graze her own stomach, and then spread her legs and touched her own pussy. The first small caress had Russell pressing his erect cock past her lips and tongue. His groan sounded so sexy, she used two fingers and traced her own clit.

  “Holy shit, yeah. Do that. So hot, so hot.”

  When she reached up and pinched her own nipple Russell went wild. She watched his flushed face grow tense as he shoved along her tongue until she felt his thick head hit the back of her throat. She gagged, but he withdrew and pulled free, then did the same thing, each time flexing his hips, pressing her to take a bit more.

  Her jaw felt stretched almost too wide with each long, slow thrust. His penis was so thick, so long, she moaned softly when she only managed part of him. Russell’s head fell back when she did. Each and every muscle of his stomach and chest flexed.

  Touching her own aroused flesh, she moaned again at how hot and wet she was. She was dripping for him. So aroused, her fingers felt like paradise. Russell cursed when he looked down and saw her. She could see his chest rise and fall with each breath as his thrusts became a bit more out of control. Excitement shivered along every nerve. She felt on the verge of coming. She’d never masturbated this way before, on her knees, and certainly not in front of anyone, but Russell’s body, his reactions, his hard penis pressing and shoving along her mouth—all of it swirled into a toxic cocktail of pure lust.

  “Ah, fuck, Susan, baby, God yeah, so good, so good. Open for me, baby.”

  His voice was rough with passion, his muscles strained, both his hands started to tremble on her head and she was going to come. It was so erotic, so bad, so Russell at his most wicked. She flicked her clit once more with her wet fingers, and began to feel the tingle before the pleasure.

  “Ah, God, yeah, yeah. Come with me baby. Keep your eyes open. See me. See who’s giving you this. Take it, baby, take it. For me. Give me this, Susan.”

  The last broken plea was more than she could take. She felt herself shattering, flying with a rush of pleasure. Russell suddenly dragged his erection from her, practically tossed her down on the bed and thrust her thighs open to shove himself in so deep she thought she’d feel him forever. His sweaty body covered her. His hot breath feathered over her neck and, with a roughness that excited her, he shoved her legs up against his chest and pinned her down to tunnel into her with desperate thrusts. It was too much. It was perfect. It was amazing. Digging her nails into his back, she held on because there was nothing else to do. He possessed her, took everything and gave her so much back she trembled with the force of her orgasm.

  Firm, hard, wild thrusts filled her world and suddenly, in the midst of it all, Russell shouted her name and his hot release filled her. If she could have died from the pleasure, she would have. It was so good she never wanted him to stop. His low, long grunts as his body shuddered filled her with as much pleasure as the twisting, circular path ripping through her body and spinning her out of control.

  Just as the sensations started to fall from breathless heights, Russell pulled from her, tossed her on her hands and knees and frantically mounted her. He was rough and out of control and this time he truly did mount and take her. There were no sweet words, no softness at all from him, just Russell using her so hard he made rug burns on her hand and knees. One big arm squeezed her tight around her tummy;
the other was fisted in the mattress inches from their faces and he was rutting like a wild man.

  It was so delicious, all she could do was explode with pleasure. “More, more, Russell. More.”

  He groaned her name. His erection swelled thicker and stiffer, enough to make her tremble with need as he shafted her urgently. She felt trapped, unable to move, unable to control this or him, and she wanted more. It was so exciting she cried out and arched as much as she could, bucking into him, meeting each thrust until she was spent and limp with the force of her climax.

  “Damn, damn, baby.” Russell’s voice penetrated her senses, sounding urgent and ragged. His thrusts became wild and unsteady as he neared his climax. She felt him stiffen, his hands gripped her tight enough to leave bruises, then with deep, sharp lunges, he buried himself and collapsed on her, his erection jerking with the forceful blast of heat. Tears filled her eyes and fell past her lids, but she rubbed her face on her own arm to hide her reaction. She wanted him here—behind her, inside her, on top of her, just with her, not leaving. Not going away.

  “Baby.”

  She couldn’t speak. Not yet. It was all too much. Tears stung her eyes, but she held the rest back, unwilling to cry in front of him. No need to show him that. God only knew what he’d think. Her father never could understand her tears, and no doubt Russell wouldn’t, either.

  “Susan, talk to me, baby.” He was breathless, and still hard. “I lost control there. Was I too rough?”

  “No, Russell. Never.”

  His breath puffed warm and fast against her neck. Shifting behind her, she shivered when she felt something like a kiss, hesitant and light, along her shoulders when he moved off her. Was he worried? He hadn’t been worried about his sexual aggressiveness since those first few days.

  Slowly, she felt his muscles bunch around her and he leant back, withdrawing from her body slowly. One hand rested on her butt, caressing and lingering near certain areas she knew he was interested in exploring. He’d not said a word, but he often took her from behind, pressing his thumb along her ass when she was climaxing. Once or twice, he’d even pushed against her there, making her wild but also confused and more than a little worried. Russell wasn’t a small man, and his fingertip breaching her ass was one thing, but his erection? A whole different venture she might not be willing to take.